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Archive for June, 2009

Still Counting…

How many cocoons till these wings form and fly

how many moons till my potential feels full

how many heartbeats till I feel alive and worthy of being here, today

I want till wanting becomes all I have

I daydream into the night and then dream of better days

unfit conditions threatened the survival of ambition

but I persevered, now tell me why

How many love letters abandoned, unread

how many losses till I appreciate having loved at all

how many shrines built for sorrow from bricks of self pity

Sing me a lullaby whispered my soul

sing it calmly, nurture and hold me

I ask

dear soul, how many verses sung

till you finally fall asleep?

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The Puzzle

Someone who keeps aloof from suffering

is not a lover. I choose your love

above all else. As for wealth

if that comes, or goes, so be it.

Wealth and love inhabit separate worlds.

 

But as long as you live here beside me,

I cannot say that I’m suffering.

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Staring at Screens

Sick of staring at screens, trapped images of the past

Tried changing the channel but each is just like the last

Synthetic celebrities, material pleasantries

Rich kids given shit I’d have to save and wait for centuries

Tried watching something smart but lacked obedience

Learned a new recipe but lacked ingredients

 

Remember when I use to stack dreams

Now I sit eyes attached to flickering flat screens

Underprivileged but each room has a TV

Identifying with a social class that doesn’t see me

These fools school you with visions

Manufactured by pricks on capitalistic missions

Brain washing to make a stagnant nation

Tune in and you abandon imagination

 

LCD be that new LSD but stronger

Starts as a kid so the addiction lasts longer

Can’t get back the hours wasted

Or erase the lessons I’ve copied and pasted

But I can stand to face reality

and remove the remote from my anatomy

Fate’s handed us a flowing hour glass

Ask yourself how much of it has filled with you on your ass.

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The Little Things

“This too shall pass” has been my mantra for some time now, but after a while this way of thinking no longer suffices. Being told that you’re not good enough, you even displaying signs of not being up to par is a harsh reality but the good thing is that everyday we have the opportunity to turn it all around (that sounds familiar).

Thing is, not everyday is utilized, sometimes we’re not in the mood, sometimes we simply cant catch a break. Of course all your loved ones come up with antidotes they swear can help, and you just nod and accept, but they have no idea how youve been trying. Sometimes tough times need to happen. I mean look, thats when we shine right, Thats when we learn and grow…through the tough times.

Anyway, its hard to not get caught up in the little things in life. The hello’s, the how are you’s, the smile, the random and totally welcomed phone calls made just because, the little things that make up our days seem so simple but they make such a difference.

So how do we know when to not let other little things bother us, like the dirty looks, the silent treatments, the semi-bad grade on a paper. When do we say “ok this little thing stays but this little thing goes?”. Well, we basically have to become human filters!

Know what to keep (the positive little things), know what to let go (the negative little things). Resentment, anger, sorrow, selfpity are man made mountains that stop us from progressing, each rock the mountain consists of being a little thing we held onto. So right now I have a lot of little rocks, Im unemployed, still living at home, still in college, my love life is a mountain within itself BUT Im getting rid of those little rocks. I am healthy, beautiful outside as well as in, and I know who ever I marry will be the luckiest man because I am a devoted woman. My family is healthy, we have a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. So thats that. See what Im going to do is just compare all the little things so that theyre easier to filter out 🙂

I hope your journey through rock comparisons is a memorable one that you will choose to learn and thrive from, iA (Insha’Allah=God willing). Be like the child you once were, collecting only the pretty rocks you found along your path.

-Kaleena (L)

 

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Written on 12/21/2008

 

And today you make one year

GONE

Forever

which was how long we were going to be best friends for

Forever, Forever, Forever, Forever 

Forever 

I’ve been broken since

ever since

I’ve been

more alone

and more aware of being alone

than ever before

And so now pain, heartache, hurt, and headaches

are what keep me company

are the few reminders God sends my way

to wake me up

They took you too far

I cant reach you

cant call out your name

stopped looking for you

on the streets we once ruled

broken Queens, unkempt beauties

Today you make one year, today

one year ago Forever came for you

and left me behind.

R.I.P Jessica, Love You, forever.

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Rumi

Come, whoever you are.

Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.

It doesn’t matter.

Ours is not a caravan of despair.

Come, even if you have broken your vow

a thousand times

Come, yet again, come, come. 

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