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Archive for September, 2009

It’s so easy to get caught up in the artificialness of society *sigh* Some people could not imagine their lives without makeup, hair gel, Lap tops, Cell phones, etc. When we leave this Earth all those things are left behind and they wont miss us, however the people that we might have neglected as a result of us being so addicted to material will be left behind. It seems logical then to invest in people rather than material things.

I find that it doesnt make sense when two people go to the top colleges, have lucrative careers, big house, 2-3 cars, but dont have a loving relationship with each other or their children.

Once the tummys are full, the backs are clothed, and the roof overhead is stable does that mean our job is done? NO WAY! Those are the basics, things needed for survival, once we are surviving however we need to feel that the life which we have worked so hard to hold onto is WORTH living, and that worth has little to nothing to do with money.

 

 

I know too many people who are dependent on material things, they figure theyre worth is reflected by the bag they carry or the car they drive. Nothing can be farther from the truth.

I think everyone should take 1 day out of the week to not partake in some usually habitual behavior, if its smoking, video games, Facebook, or whatever take 1 day out of the week to avoid it for the next 4 weeks. You are strong enough to go 4 x a year without T.V. Im sure 😉

Please keep in mind: man made the money, money never made the man. Do not sacrifice your values for something worth a lot of green smelly paper (money duhhh).

When you go those material things stay and they will NOT miss you, invest in the people who will.

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Letting it go in order to grow.

Ok so I’ll be honest, Ive been in a seriously trying situation for the past year and Ive tried to make it work but I guess it just isnt going to work, at least not in the way I want it to. I really dislike when people hide things from me, or lie, or basically do anything multiple times that result in negativity. On that same note though no one is perfect and you have to ask yourself whether or not the negativity is enough to completely end the friendship/relationship, does it overpower the good?

Sometimes it does, however in my situation I would not say that. My current problem: not holding resentment towards a particular person. When we are angry we tend to edit out all the good qualities of whatever it is thats bothering us (a person, job, etc.) and we focus on the “ugly” aspects. We become overly critical and overlook our own imperfections in the situation.

Surely I have done my share to jeopardize the friendship, surely I have challenged and tried to control the situation. Not getting my way caused me to subconsciously sabotage the friendship by over questioning their motives with me and so on.

So how do I let it go in order to grow?

We all know that negative things (jealousy, hatred, gossip, etc.) are bad but people continue to do them. It isnt easy to break habits that result in instant gratification. Forgiving someone isnt just a favor you are doing for THAT person, you are mainly doing yourself a favor by forgiving. You are allowing yourself the opportunity to get out of that detrimental mental/emotional state by saying “I am over this, it happened and nothing can change that but I can change what happens next, I can and will take control”!!!

 grow

Anger stunts our spiritual growth, it’s often exhausting for the person feeling it. It takes more energy to hold onto something (like anger) than to just let it go!

I need to keep this in mind, I need to not let my disappointment in someone devalue the overall good Ive gained from them, for instance this person really helped me to see that I had become quite stagnant in life, that I was still too much of a little girl, and that I needed to focus on my future as a woman. For these lessons and the others Ive learned from you I thank you, you know who you are.

This blog has been pretty therapeutic. Finding a healthy hobby can be quite beneficial 🙂 Anyway my point is that we are all temporary beings on this Earth, why waste time pouting and coming up with reasons to dislike someone when there are so many other wonderful people out here, so many other ways to grow, so many other opportunities to make your time here positive and beautiful.

See people for their imperfections and love them anyway, how else would you expect to be loved? Forgive other people for their actions, how else would you expect to be forgiven? Let it go and let yourself grow from it, become stronger from the suffering, how else would you expect to become a better person?

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In my humble opinion marriage is made up of a lot of things, at times I feel love is the least of that which marriage is composed of. What makes me think this? Well, we’re human…as humans our emotions change and there are even times when we cant stand to see our own reflection. Our thoughts, and emotions are imposed on our body, and our body imposes on our spirit. We can not permanently separate these things, its the ultimate union that only death (if even) can totally separate. Respect, trust, consideration, and compromise are other aspects that are necessary in having a successful marriage.

Thing is, because marriage is a choice we think we can undo it, and we can, but (in most cases) I think its a disservice to our progress in this life. Family on the other hand is not a choice. Think about all the tough times you’ve had with your family, now think about the lessons derived from the many issues experienced with your family. Some unions are straight up destructive so I’ll exclude those as examples.

Personally the way society conditions us to interpret love has a major influence on the relationships we form throughout life (including marriage of course). Females in the West grow up with Disney fairy tales. We are taught that there is a prince charming who is everything we have ever wanted in life and that there is always one female who is trying to jeopardize the relationship (evil step mothers, jealous females…etc). Who will ever be able to live up to Disney’s depiction of love? How many happily ever afters are there in real life?

 

At this point in society marriage is perceived to be a major risk because of the rise in divorce and such. I wonder though how many couples actually get back together after divorce.

If we enter any long term situation with the highest of hopes possible we’re bound to suffer for even the smallest of disappointments. Love is not always present in a marriage, and marriage isn’t always present when there’s love. Its not fair though to think that everyday with someone (regardless of how you feel about them) is going to be perfect, no one and nothing is perfect.

Whats my point? its the obvious, love is tough, marriage is even tougher. Its survival of the fittest baby and though love may be the glue of your union it isn’t always enough to keep the bond going. People fall in and out of love all the time, if you’re basing your marriage solely on that fairy tale perception of it you’re making a mistake. It isn’t fair to compare your everyday life in a family to a Full House episode, nor is it fair to compare your marriage to Disney’s Aladdin.

 Make sure when you say “I do” you understand and fully accpet the severity of that statement, “I do” is said in a minute but endured for a lifetime.

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Splitting Paths

I am currently 25 years old, one quarter of a century. By this point in my life I am fully aware that bonds are built and that they often (with time) break, in other words shared paths part.

Whether its due to geography (one person moves to another neighborhood, state, country…etc), or personalities change, or even death comes to make its mark the main point is that paths split and we end up alone in one way or another.

We need to keep this in mind when we enter any type of relationship. Do not take your loved ones for granted, don’t even take people who annoy you on a daily basis for granted because they were placed on your path for a reason.

Every step you take may be unplanned, sporadic, but the path you walk along is set. We have to continually move forward despite the unclear view ahead, because we are only postponing our own journey by letting things stop us.

 

For even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you. -Kahlil Gibran

 

We are forever finding new paths to walk. That doesn’t mean we should disregard the steps we took to get to where we are now, nor does it  mean we should turn our backs on the people who held our hand during those  journeys.

Ive been thinking about moving away from New York, I love it here but I need some change. If I do end up leaving it’ll be the splitting of yet another path, and it will be the beginning of a new one. Its going to be difficult, a true challenge, but one that needs to be experienced. Of course I am going to miss my family and the familiarity of the City I was born and raised in but I am of more benefit to my loved ones as a person who is pursuing happiness and enriching her life rather than by being someone who is stagnant and resentful.

Remember, you don’t have to share actual paths with someone to be a part of their journey. Yes paths split but they often join again. So walk with a straight spine, an open mind, and your head held high!

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