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Archive for November, 2010

Expectations

Expectation is the root of all heartache. -William Shakespeare

Have you noticed, we tend to become angrier with family/friends than strangers when wrong is done to us…why?

Because we expect more from family & friends. We have an innate belief that someone we love or care for will have our best interest in mind regardless of the situation.

However, do we not make mistakes and later wonder “what was I thinking?!?”….havent you disappointed your own self a time or two in the past…

WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS, imperfect entities. On some level I will expect more from family and friends because our bond creates a type of responsibility towards one another but ultimately I should not create high expectations for anyone other than God and myself.

Expectations are basically beliefs, a form of trust. When someone or thing falls short of our expectations we feel betrayed…let down.

We should always consider that people have the capacity to do good or bad, to succeed or to fail whether done purposely or not. Realize that this capacity doesn’t change just because you have high expectations.

I don’t mean to sound pessimistic, rather I simply want to remind people that we all make mistakes and that we should be a little more flexible towards ourselves and others.

Strive for betterment always.

Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love. -Leo Buscaglia

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Love Haiku

True Love is Selfless

Lifes Ultimate Offering

Not a transaction

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The Path

 

 

A bird may walk to all places but its spirit will not follow unless it flies. Ones inner self treads solely on the path made with its true fulfillment in mind.

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When Poets Perform

Last night I saw a semi-final poetry slam at the famous Nuyorican Poets Cafe. I hadn’t been there in quite a while and it was awesome to return to the place where I too had once performed.

To be honest The Nuyorican Poets Cafe is the one place that created great nervousness and excitement for me as a new slam poet. The space is so intimate that you cant help but to look into someones eyes while performing…the feeling is as though all who are watching/listening are apart of your family (a new family thats supportive and open).

 

I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. The MC, Mahogany Browne was delightfully funny and the poets were fantastic. Sitting amongst people from all over the world (China, Germany, Nigeria..) and of course fellow New Yorkers I felt great inspiration. It was like we personified one great poem of  acceptance & even love.

 

I have yet to return to the stage (its been about 6 years since my last slam which was with Urban Word NYC), I definitely have intentions of returning Insha’Allah (God Willing).

Theres something about seeing a person tell their story in the form of a poem that makes life seem so much more beautiful and tender. If you have not ever been to a reading I suggest you do, it’s an awesome experience.

 

Here are the Links to the 2 organizations mentioned above:

http://www.nuyorican.org/

http://www.urbanwordnyc.org/uwnyc/

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Amiri Baraka

I find this poem interesting…whether we agree or not with what Amiri Baraka states in his poem Somebody Blew Up America we must admit it’s filled with emotion, a sense of frustration and even anger. He uses some facts from our history and adds a sense of suspicion/blame amongst other things. Check it out.

SOMEBODY BLEW UP AMERICA

(All thinking people

oppose terrorism
both domestic
& international…
But one should not
be used
To cover the other)

They say its some terrorist, some
barbaric
A Rab, in
Afghanistan
It wasn’t our American terrorists
It wasn’t the Klan or the Skin heads
Or the them that blows up nigger
Churches, or reincarnates us on Death Row
It wasn’t Trent Lott
Or David Duke or Giuliani
Or Schundler, Helms retiring

 

 

 

*Read the rest of the poem by checking out Amiri Barakas website provided below

http://www.amiribaraka.com/blew.html

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Prey-Predator

Ask yourself are you the prey or the predator

Life’s a b*itch but you better be a friend to her

Tread’n paths with the hourglass in suspension

Brag’n bout heaven but your soul lacks redemption

 

Potentials never questioned-thats a given

In order to live good you gotta make a kill’n

they say “its written” but I live beyond the print

seen hunger marry monks to the world of larry flynt

 

Spit your spiritual I’m busy getting lifted by the lyrical

cant forsake the gift every syllables a miracle

I’m literally giddy off the envy portrayed

only those with open hearts can be easily betrayed

 

So I remain sealed kneel only when in prayer

my skills are cause’n infarcts you better pop a Bayer

Peel off the layers only then you’ll find the core

everybody’s got a price when survival is the whore

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Belonging or Betrayal

As a youth the battle was about belonging….wishing to feel like I belonged to at least one half of the two that brought me into this world. One of those halves was riddled with instability and the other hardly invested  in my existence. Neither were dependable in an emotional sense. As a teen I manifested the instability which had surrounded me as a child and the rebellion began.

Luckily I grew out of that phase. I was able to take on a new perspective of myself and the world holding more potential than previously figured. Poetry was one of the first inspirations for that transition.

Now I am an adult, but I am still challenged and haunted by that want of belonging. However there comes a time when you have to stop blaming and start taking responsibility. I may one day commit to a relationship that I hope will be worlds away from the one I was raised in. Of course there are fears, of betrayal, of failure. Questions arise that plague all who ponder before making such a lifelong commitment. Should I not invest in relationships because of past adversities and possible future ones?

I can’t truly predict what will happen, I can’t reassure myself that all will be well. What I plan to do is love myself, and protect my dignity because frankly no external source of love/community will seek my overall well-being (as I would for myself).

If I live my life just for you then what of its left for me?

I can’t love someone so much that one day I’ll hate myself, I can’t live focused on the risks of not belonging, or the potential for betrayal. The best way to live and love is to do so with balance. Tread cautiously but do tread for that’s the only way to move forward.

Rather than fret over what the past gave or what the future will offer be grateful for what you hold now for it’s all you truly have at the moment.

 

 

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