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Archive for the ‘Love: The Pretty Poison’ Category

Over one year has passed since I have written under the Love category here on my blog. I had not noticed how I neglected this area of my life for so long. Well I stand here in my kitchen with my almost 4 month old son in his swing, sleeping peacefully, a precious boy he is. My husband is working hard on Wall St. When he arrives the house feels complete and becomes our home.

To be honest however, it has not always been blissful. This first year of marriage was very challenging in a lot of different ways, but I can say today that all the struggles have been worth it and I look forward to adding onto the years. See, my husband and I come from opposite backgrounds, and even if you are friends with your partner for years before getting married that does not change the fact that after marriage things change, whether subconsciously or not, they just do.

*PAUSE*

Just came back from 15 minutes of play with my baby boy who woke from his nap ūüôā Anyways, its nice to come back here and be able to say with genuine emotion that I am happy to be a married woman and a mother ‚̧ I’ll try to pay more attention to this category too ūüėČ

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<3

 

The more I give to thee, the more I have.

-Shakespeare

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The mind determines what is possible. The heart surpasses it. -Pilar Colinta

I leave this weekend…I will return as a married woman…a wife. I am getting married YAYYY!!!

There was definitely a  time when marriage  held no interest with me, a time when love seemed unnecessary, even overburdening. Alas, the pretty poison has found its way into my system. I hope it finds a home in me and my new family.

After 2 years with my¬†fianc√©e¬†we will¬†publicly¬†announce the sacred vows I feel were stitched into our beings the moment we met. During these 2 years there have been ups and downs of course…but throughout the passionate ride we found moving forward together is worth the effort.

Ok enough of the sappy stuff, in all seriousness Im pretty excited and kinda scared because this is a VERY important and new stage in life, but overall I’m super happy!

I dont think anyone can really say theyre 100% prepared for things like marriage or having kids but I am happy to say that I feel as though both my fiancée and I are approaching this change with open arms, minds, hearts.

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What need have I for bullets or bombs, I carry the armor of unconditional love. Why bother fighting a war, victory already lives in my heart. In the pursuit of peace and harmony I greet everyday, end¬†every night. What need have I for heaven,¬†I’m¬†already in paradise.

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Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

– Captain Corelli’s Mandolin6. “Love is the beauty of the soul.”
–St. Augustine

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Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
-Kahlil Gibran

 

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In my humble opinion marriage is made up of a lot of things, at times I feel love is the least of that which marriage is composed of. What makes me think this? Well, we’re human…as humans our emotions change and there are even times when we cant stand to see our own reflection. Our thoughts, and emotions are imposed on our body, and our body imposes on our spirit. We can not¬†permanently separate these things, its the ultimate union that only death (if even) can totally separate. Respect, trust, consideration, and compromise are other aspects that are necessary in having a successful marriage.

Thing is, because marriage is a choice we think we can undo it, and we can, but (in most cases) I think its a disservice to our progress in this life. Family on the other hand is not a choice. Think about all the tough times you’ve had with your family, now think about the lessons derived from the many issues experienced with your family. Some unions are straight up destructive so I’ll exclude those as¬†examples.

Personally the way society conditions us to interpret love has a major influence on the relationships we form throughout life (including marriage of course). Females in the West grow up with Disney fairy tales. We are¬†taught that there is a prince charming who is everything we have ever wanted in life¬†and that there is always one female who is trying to jeopardize¬†the relationship¬†(evil step mothers, jealous females…etc). Who will ever be able to live up to Disney’s depiction of love? How many happily ever afters are there in real life?

 

At this point in society marriage is perceived to be a major risk because of the rise in divorce and such. I wonder though how many couples actually get back together after divorce.

If we enter any long term situation with the highest of hopes possible we’re bound to suffer for even the smallest of disappointments. Love is not always present in a marriage, and marriage isn’t always present when there’s love. Its not fair though to think that everyday with someone (regardless of how you feel about them) is going to be perfect, no one and nothing is perfect.

Whats my point? its the obvious, love is tough, marriage is even tougher. Its survival of the fittest baby and though love may be the glue¬†of your union it isn’t always enough to keep the bond going. People fall in and out of love all the time, if you’re basing your marriage solely on that fairy tale perception of it you’re making a mistake. It isn’t fair to compare your everyday life in a family to a Full House episode, nor is it fair to compare your marriage to Disney’s Aladdin.

¬†Make sure when you say “I do” you understand and fully accpet¬†the severity of that statement,¬†“I do” is said in a minute but endured for a lifetime.

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